"Words Never Spoken"
Mood:  hug me
Topic: Beginnings of Childhood
It started out an ordinary day
A day not unlike any other,
There was so much I wanted to say
But I couldn't stand to look at my mother.

How do you forgive someone you hate?
A woman who gave me life,
As I lay in the dark and say my prayers
The pain still cuts through me like a knife.

How do you explain the bruises and scars
That were left at such an early age,
Those angry looks and screams from afar
And locked in a closet like an animal in a cage.

You wouldn't let me eat at the dinner table
Instead I was reduced to stealing, just to survive,
It was a joke to you, my birth, my life from the cradle
But today, I am the one who is still alive.

You deprived me of my joy, my happiness, my childhood
Instead you filled it with pain, hate and sadness,
Where was my parent, my mother who could have, should have,
Filled my life with hope, dreams and a sense of happiness.

I could have survived almost anything with you
Until the night you crept into my bed,
You violated your son and took my sanity
And all for what? Enough said.

It's funny how as a child the words were never there
For me to tell you how much you hurt me,
Just to get a smile from you would have meant the world
But my eyes were never meant to see.

You will never know what kind of boy you raised
Or the man I would become to be,
All I know is the life I used to know
Is all behind me.

As I stand above you now searching for a sign
All I see is what could have been a beautiful woman,
Instead you left me with all the memories
And the pain of feeling less than a man.

I held your hand in your last few hours
And I wept as I saw you take your last breath,
But for whatever turn your soul will take
I, your son, will forgive you in death.